


Downfall

by kcstories



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-12
Updated: 2006-11-12
Packaged: 2017-10-20 13:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcstories/pseuds/kcstories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione's reflections and regret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Downfall

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing(s): Past Lucius/Hermione.  
> Warning: Angst. Bitterness. Not a happy tale.  
> Disclaimer: The Potterverse is JKR's, not mine.

I knew what he was like. I was never one to delude myself. Anyone can tell you that much.

Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age. Maybe I should have taken a more critical look at the competition before I let the praise go to my head.

It did, you know. I certainly realise that now. I'm even willing to admit it.

Funny, isn't it: the way clarity hits you in the face when you understand it's all over? Well, almost over, in this case.

I would like you to know that I never intended this. One does not plan to fall for someone like him. It just happens.

And no, he didn't force me or coerce me or put me under _Imperius_. I know that's what everyone thinks. And I'd have let them continue thinking it, I'm sure doing so would have helped my case a great deal. But more lies wouldn't have made me sleep any better at night, so let me state here once more, just for the record: Everything I did, I did willingly.

At the time, I didn't know why he was even interested in a Muggleborn. It seemed to clash with everything he believed in, everything he stood for. But when I look back on it now, it all makes sense. He wanted me for my mind, not my blood. Not even my body, though, I suppose, that was an added bonus.

I'm not proud to admit that I helped him. He asked me for my opinion, my knowledge, neither of which I've ever been reluctant to share.

I walked into it with open eyes, then I fell into his trap and dragged a lot of people down with me. Even Ron, and I know his family will never forgive me; no more than I'll ever be able to forgive myself.

And no, I didn't know about the raids or the research or any of it. He never told me and I never asked. Someone should have warned me that book wisdom doesn't cure naïvité.

You ask me where he is. You ask me constantly. Every time, I give you a few locations, the ones I know about, but I have no surefire answers to offer. All I know is that he left that week, two years ago, on a Thursday. He assured me he'd be back and then the Aurors came. I haven't heard from him since.

I don't hear from anyone anymore.

And I hope death will claim me soon. The end has been a long time coming, and I'll be glad to go.


End file.
